How I used real dialogue in my novel
Most of the dialogue in my novel Mist and Shadow is something that I made up (as writerly peeps tend to do.)
But there are a few lines in there that were spoken by other people in Real Life and written down by me for posterity.
I enjoy using real comments here and there because it preserves what was otherwise a fleeting, unimportant comment lost to time and memory. And they are comments that I wouldn’t have thought of on my own, which makes them opportunities to create an authentic moment in the story beyond my own head.
Here are a few examples of “real” dialogue in Mist and Shadow:
“Her shoulders always bother me,” Jessica commented, glaring at the bony back of a tall girl passing their end of the table. “It’s like, eat a doughnut already!”
In college a group of us were gathered between classes when a tall girl passed by wearing a top that exposed her prominent shoulder bones. A classmate glared at her as she passed by and made this comment which I later wrote down verbatim. Its cruelty made me uncomfortable (like Daphne). That classmate became the basis for Jessica’s appearance: someone with long dark hair in a ponytail who was sensitive about their weight and had a higher sort of voice.
Jessica became the character I used to embody the struggle I felt in high school to stay an ideal level of skinny—a level that pressured me to be just a little skinnier than I was. I’m certainly not alone in feeling this.
“You should see the paint, it’s so gross.”
Veronica’s response to Jessica about why she decided against a college after seeing its dorms came from a conversation I overheard at Target between a group a teenage girls who were were standing around talking college dorms in the clothes section. It struck me as an odd description for paint and something I never would have said myself. Cue its addition to the story!
“I slept very well until I woke up. Now I need tea.” Her mom turned toward the fridge and waved her hand carelessly. “You folks carry on.”
“I slept very well until I woke up,” was my honest response one morning to my family after they asked about my night. To my surprise my sister found it extremely amusing. I gave the quote to Daphne’s mom, who has a great deal of my own humor and silliness.
A few middle-aged parents on the row farthest up screamed, “TOUCHDOWN!” The Long Haven Falcons scored the first points of the game, and the players in green lined up for the field goal. The home side of the stadium clapped.
“Score!” a man shouted as the football bounced off the yellow pole and spun through.
These were some of the sights and sounds from a few high school football games I attended after college. I used a combination of these games and my memories of attending games in high school to capture the spirit and feeling of it all. The description of the stadium comes from my hometown’s old football field. Later in the scene, the opposing team runs ninety yards to score a touchdown—a real play that happened during one of those games.
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Have any questions about what you read in Mist and Shadow? I’m happy to answer (except for when I’m unhappy). Use the contact form to get in touch! Please be advised, however, that I don’t check my inbox obsessively. I will answer when I can! *runs away.*